What if
by MiyaKamiya
Summary: He tried to keep those voices out that whispered 'He won't come back this time'. He tried not to think about it.  Oneshot, Robin/Wally, depressing... But not really tragedy... Not Drama either, so I just put 'tragedy'.


**Hello readers :) You just stumbled upon my first fanfic (well on this page at least) and such a depressing one right away.**

**Well, the reason for that is that I recently learned, that one of my favourite voice actors died. **

**He had so much influence on my childhood and I was so sad, I had to write someting depressing... Well, and Young Justice was the only fandom where I could think of something sad without feeling to bad about it (I still do though)**

**In this fanfic both of them are much older (I don't know my way through DC good so I can't say how old exactly) but it's before Wally becomes the Flash and after Dick becomes Nightwing. Somwhere... in the middle of that. :)**

**Anywho, I apologise for all mistakes in advance (sadly, I am not a native speaker...) and I'd be happy if you point them out to me so I can fix them :)**

**Oh, and the note at the end might be important because... well, it has something to do with the ending :)**

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><p><strong>What if<strong>

He tried to keep this voice out that whispered _'He won't come back this time'_. He tried to keep himself occupied. He tried not to think at all.

But still this nagging voice repeated itself over and over and over again in his head.

It burned those words into his mind until he couldn't think of anything else no matter how hard he tried.

God, was being a human always this hard?

He couldn't remember.

Too long ago those innocent days where he was still chasing some stupid hero. Until he himself became this hero. Until his carefree times were over.

Too long. So long, he had long forgotten what time felt like.

After he changed, time became meaningless. Everything became so slow, meaninglessness followed naturally.

The only thing, the only _one_ who could slow him down was the one he was so worried about now. Now, time had changed back to normal again, but for him, who had already lost 'normal' once, it didn't feel right anymore.

He _needed_ the endless time. He had grown used to it, he had come to love it.

He _needed_ the rush he always had been in.

He _needed_ the feeling of slowing down when he was with him.

Without it, nothing felt right anymore.

After his illness had been discovered, he _had_ to slow down. He had to let time run on it's own.

Now, he was so slow already, he couldn't rest anymore.

He wanted to run. So bad. Just _run_ and never stop again. He didn't care about death. Sometimes it seemed welcoming to him. But he made a promise.

He promised to never use his powers again until they had found a cure.

That had been so long ago, he had stopped counting the days.

Time wasn't his friend anymore. It had become his enemy. It worked against him now and he hated it.

He hated his new life.

Full of waiting, full of sitting, praying and worrying.

He just couldn't _stop_.

No matter how often he told himself _'He will be alright.'_ He just kept on worrying.

But everytime it started to become too much for him to bear, Dick would come home and embrace him tenderly.

And he would whisper sweet things into his ear and Wally would calm down instantly. And they would share a kiss and sometimes make love.

And Dick would smile at him, kiss his forehead, his eyes, cheeks and finally his mouth and say. _'I'm here. I'll always come back.'_ And Wally would look up to his eyes, those wonderful blue eyes and ask. _'Why?'_

And Dick would smile at him lovingly, kiss him one more time and answer. _'Because I love you and you love me and nothing can keep us apart.'_

_'Promise?'_

_'Promise.'_

And Wally would fall asleep in his arms and dream peacfully. He would wake up in his arms and watch him go again.

And the voice would whisper. _'What if he won't come back this time?'_ And Wally would think, as strongly as he could. _'He will. He promised.'_

But Wally was afraid. Not of death, not of pain, just of this little _'what if'_.

_But Dick would always save him. He would always put those voices to sleep._

_Always._

_Only this time he didn't._

_The _'what if'_ won and Wallys world broke once again._

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><p><strong>End.<strong>

**And I felt SO bad about it. I even hesistated to write the last four lines. Which is why (if this was to depressing for you as it was for me) you can just forget the lines. I just added them because this was how I originally planned it. (That's why they're written in cursive)  
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**So... Thank you so much for reading, I'm gonna go cry in a corner now.**


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